Psycho killer. Qu'est-ce que c'est?

Oh. My. God. I'm so glad this week has come to an end and that tomorrow is a new beginning.

It's not that my week was horrendous, in fact it was quote lovely for the most part: Alt-J concert, beautiful weather, a fourth film shoot, Phi Kappa Phi initiation, etc. The real concern has been time management. I want to do it all and sometimes I pay the physical and mental price. I do things I shouldn't and wish that I would've done things that I didn't.

Graduation is my number one priority. I have a major group project due on the 16th, a short film due the 24th, a portfolio due the 30th, a group presentation, and 2 finals.

A lot of IMPORTANT SHIT!

In addition to academia, I have an internship, and a part-time job. I enjoy both of them very much and I think they've provided me with extremely important skills and opportunities for growth both professionally, and personally. 

Everyone keeps asking "What are you going to do after graduation?" My answer:

"I don't have a fucking clue."

I wish I knew but I don't. I envy people who know what they're going to do for the rest of their lives, people like Manda. She's got wonderful goals for her life and she will be fantastic at her job. Now Mary wants to go to law school and I envision her as an extremely successful entertainment lawyer. 

I guess my problem is that I see the world as extremely wide open. There is so much to see and do and only one lifetime to do it all. I'm interested in so much. I love film and I definitely want to give it my best shot by going to grad school or managing to build my skills enough to go out to L.A. where the action is. However, I'm terrified. I have major control issues and I have a terrible time putting faith in myself and my talents/skills/knowledge. 

                                         "Life is scary. Get used to it."-Dr. Bob Kelso, Scrubs

I also had a terrible fight with my mom last night. We haven't fought like that since I was a teenager. It was not a fun experience and I'm still quite shaken. I dropped her off at the airport for her trip to D.C. tonight and I'm hoping things will be in a better spot when she comes back. I love my mom with all my heart but like anyone she has flaws. Unfortunately we share flaws. The worst of which is a emotional control.

I will be the first to admit that I have a problem managing emotions. I'm extremely sensitive to everything. I think it's a blessing because I can very easily empathize with just about anyone. However, this sometimes causes extreme pain in my heart. The other side is that I can become enraged very easily and quite intensely. This makes it extremely difficult for me to live in this world but I know there is a purpose behind everything and as I said before it is not all negative. In fact the anger is less than 10% of the time. 

I believe I am destined for great things but it takes patience, and a lot of hard work to get to our place in this world. I am thankful for everything that has, and will happen to me in the future because experiences, good or bad, shape life. 

This entry was awfully heavy. Here's a little something to lighten the mood:

She's just so adorable.

XOXO

Triangles are my favorite shape ∆

Well, last week was insane and I think I'm just starting to recover. I'll recap.

Friday- Mary's shoot for The Olive Project. The shoot went well and was a lot of fun. We did have a single mishap: one of the nets had a hole burned into it. I love Mary's film idea and I'm proud to have had the chance to participate. She can be hard on herself but I really think people are going to love it!

Saturday- This was my turn at bat. My shoot was a far cry from what I had imagined. I loved my crew but there were some issues. The timeframe became completely off. We started at noon and I had planned to be done by 9:30. Instead we went from noon to midnight. It was a looooonnnngggggg day. I had to compromise with my storyline and a few of my scenes. I'm overambitious and hypercritical so I'm terrified about how it's going to turn out.

Sunday- Mary, my mom, and I captured a few more scenes for my film. I was exhausted but these turned out well.

Monday was uneventful but Tuesday was the ∆ concert! It was so amazing. I can't wait to see them again. The more I listen to, read, and hear about them, the more I love them. The Midland was a great venue and the fact that Mary punched a guy twice and yelled at another guy added to the entertainment and badassery of the evening.

Yesterday I filmed my last scenes *fingers crossed.* I got some really cute montage footage. I also have a new nickname: Nora.

Birthday month has gotten off to a great start and I'm looking forward to what comes next. 6 weeks until graduation: terrifying and wonderful news.

XOXO