The Long and Winding Road

Ladies and gentlemen, the time has come. In a little over a week I, Katherine Elizabeth Huskey will be a college graduate.

Hold your applause.

It's been a tough journey. I feel like I've been going to school forever (5 years). I couldn't be happier about finishing my degree. I'm in the top 10% of my class, a member of Phi Kappa Phi Honor Society, and I'm graduating with both departmental and latin honors.

Still, I'm afraid. More specifically, I'm afraid of what the "real" world has for me. I have a tendency to get ahead of myself. I'm very instant gratification centered but that doesn't mean I don't work hard to get what I want and accomplish goals.

I suppose my fear really stems from the simple fact that I was raised to believe anything is possible. You want to travel the world? You can. You dream of being the first female president? Go for it. You love film? Create your own. The world is limitless and I have a limitless imagination. I wasn't created to sit behind a desk for the rest of my life. I crave variety and new experiences.

I'm excited to venture out into life. I've been protecting myself for too long. I came across a post the other day that said:
         "The thing that screws us up the most in life is our vision of what it should be."
No one can say what will happen to you. The best thing to do is LIVE. Don't hold back. You've loved someone for years? Tell them. If they don't love you back it's no worse than living without an answer. You want to learn how to play an instrument, study world religion, live on a commune? Do it. Live fully and wholeheartedly with no regrets. Life would be boring there were no mistakes or stumbles along our path, and we got everything right on the first try.

Do I have regrets in my life? Every now and then I think about it. I can honestly say that I don't. Do I wish I had finished college sooner? Of course. But I wouldn't have met some of the amazing people in my life. Have I held love in my heart for someone much longer than I should have? Um...duh! Should I have done anything differently? It's hard to say. Issues like these don't bother me because they have shaped my life. I am thankful for the things I have learned and the things I will learn later into my journey.

I've always told everyone that I would like to be dead by 50. Why? I don't know I've always wanted to dies before my partner, and before I've lost control of my mind and/or body. But now I think about how amazing it will be to become the old woman with the crazy stories about her life who doesn't give a shit about what she says or does.

I'm only 24. I've got time. I'll travel to every country on my wish list, I'll dance in the moonlight with my true love, my children will have a mother who loves them with all of her heart and soul, I'll keep trying new things for the rest of my life, and when it's time for me to leave my mortal shell I'll be truly content to ascend to the heavens.

I'm in no hurry.

XOXO

Psycho killer. Qu'est-ce que c'est?

Oh. My. God. I'm so glad this week has come to an end and that tomorrow is a new beginning.

It's not that my week was horrendous, in fact it was quote lovely for the most part: Alt-J concert, beautiful weather, a fourth film shoot, Phi Kappa Phi initiation, etc. The real concern has been time management. I want to do it all and sometimes I pay the physical and mental price. I do things I shouldn't and wish that I would've done things that I didn't.

Graduation is my number one priority. I have a major group project due on the 16th, a short film due the 24th, a portfolio due the 30th, a group presentation, and 2 finals.

A lot of IMPORTANT SHIT!

In addition to academia, I have an internship, and a part-time job. I enjoy both of them very much and I think they've provided me with extremely important skills and opportunities for growth both professionally, and personally. 

Everyone keeps asking "What are you going to do after graduation?" My answer:

"I don't have a fucking clue."

I wish I knew but I don't. I envy people who know what they're going to do for the rest of their lives, people like Manda. She's got wonderful goals for her life and she will be fantastic at her job. Now Mary wants to go to law school and I envision her as an extremely successful entertainment lawyer. 

I guess my problem is that I see the world as extremely wide open. There is so much to see and do and only one lifetime to do it all. I'm interested in so much. I love film and I definitely want to give it my best shot by going to grad school or managing to build my skills enough to go out to L.A. where the action is. However, I'm terrified. I have major control issues and I have a terrible time putting faith in myself and my talents/skills/knowledge. 

                                         "Life is scary. Get used to it."-Dr. Bob Kelso, Scrubs

I also had a terrible fight with my mom last night. We haven't fought like that since I was a teenager. It was not a fun experience and I'm still quite shaken. I dropped her off at the airport for her trip to D.C. tonight and I'm hoping things will be in a better spot when she comes back. I love my mom with all my heart but like anyone she has flaws. Unfortunately we share flaws. The worst of which is a emotional control.

I will be the first to admit that I have a problem managing emotions. I'm extremely sensitive to everything. I think it's a blessing because I can very easily empathize with just about anyone. However, this sometimes causes extreme pain in my heart. The other side is that I can become enraged very easily and quite intensely. This makes it extremely difficult for me to live in this world but I know there is a purpose behind everything and as I said before it is not all negative. In fact the anger is less than 10% of the time. 

I believe I am destined for great things but it takes patience, and a lot of hard work to get to our place in this world. I am thankful for everything that has, and will happen to me in the future because experiences, good or bad, shape life. 

This entry was awfully heavy. Here's a little something to lighten the mood:

She's just so adorable.

XOXO

Triangles are my favorite shape ∆

Well, last week was insane and I think I'm just starting to recover. I'll recap.

Friday- Mary's shoot for The Olive Project. The shoot went well and was a lot of fun. We did have a single mishap: one of the nets had a hole burned into it. I love Mary's film idea and I'm proud to have had the chance to participate. She can be hard on herself but I really think people are going to love it!

Saturday- This was my turn at bat. My shoot was a far cry from what I had imagined. I loved my crew but there were some issues. The timeframe became completely off. We started at noon and I had planned to be done by 9:30. Instead we went from noon to midnight. It was a looooonnnngggggg day. I had to compromise with my storyline and a few of my scenes. I'm overambitious and hypercritical so I'm terrified about how it's going to turn out.

Sunday- Mary, my mom, and I captured a few more scenes for my film. I was exhausted but these turned out well.

Monday was uneventful but Tuesday was the ∆ concert! It was so amazing. I can't wait to see them again. The more I listen to, read, and hear about them, the more I love them. The Midland was a great venue and the fact that Mary punched a guy twice and yelled at another guy added to the entertainment and badassery of the evening.

Yesterday I filmed my last scenes *fingers crossed.* I got some really cute montage footage. I also have a new nickname: Nora.

Birthday month has gotten off to a great start and I'm looking forward to what comes next. 6 weeks until graduation: terrifying and wonderful news.

XOXO

Feelin' Stronger Everyday

Monday- The shoot went really well considering there were only two crew members. The only thing that put a damper on the day was A's car breaking down on the way to our second location. I'm not sure of the outcome yet but I really feel for her. It brought up memories of my car dying last year. I'm hoping the news is much better for her than it was for me.

Mary's shoot was rescheduled for tomorrow due to the snow we received on Sunday. So tomorrow promises to be full of fun and excitement!

I also get to see Alina tomorrow for the first time in months. We have a lot to catch up on and I've got a special gift for her birthday.

I'm so nervous for my shoot on Saturday but I know everything will be ok. I'm currently revising the script, preparing shot sheets, and finishing up the shooting schedule. It will be nice to utilize an all female crew!

There is a lot to be done in the coming weeks but I have all the faith in the world that things will turn out the way they need to. I'm ready to GRADUATE and move on to the next chapter in my life. I'm so lucky to have such a great support system from my friends and family.

XOXO

P.S. If anyone is looking for the perfect graduation and/or birthday gift for me, I'll take a pair of munchkin cats (I prefer calico and orange tabby) ;)

I'm so oh oh tired, I have not slept a wink

It's 11:53p.m. on Sunday night.

Tomorrow is the first day of Spring Break. However, I cannot sleep. I am shooting my final project for my capstone course in the morning and I'm pretty sure only one other person besides myself will be there to help. Everyone is working, out of town, or too busy to help.

Fuckers!

I kid, I kid. I'm extremely nervous because although this project doesn't have to be top quality (the instructor knows absolutely nothing about production) I would like to be able to use some of the footage for my reel. The project is also giving me an opportunity to gain more experience with Avid Media Composer.

The fact that I'm a major control freak and only have one other person assisting me does not put my mind at ease. I have confidence that everything will be fine in the end but I feel like I'm going to vomit whenever I think about the shoot (a very common symptom when I'm nerve-wracked).

I am super excited to use the new clapperboard app on my iPad. So there is at least one positive coming from this experience.

As for the rest of the week, I will be working every morning with one of my BFFs Manda and I have two more shoots. The first is for Mary's film on Friday and the second is for my own short narrative piece entitled "Roommate Wanted" on Saturday. Both will be smashing successes.

I feel my eyelids becoming leaden so this is it for now.

Goodnight loves. XOXO

A long time coming

Oh goodness, it has been forever and a day since I last updated. A whole lot has happened.

I'm working my way back into running. My last 5K was on December 2, 2012 and I hadn't been running until March 18. That's a massive amount of time away from running and I'm paying the price. I am back down to one continuous mile but I've devised a strategy to take me to my first 10K on June 6. *fingers crossed*

Spring break officially starts for me at 4:45 pm today. I'm beyond excited but I'm also nervous as hell. I have a total of 3 film shoots, I'm working, I need to catch up on my senior portfolio, and my room is currently in shambles. NOT GOOD. I know it will be fine but I'm a worrier.

I'm also starting to look at graduate programs, internships, and job listings. It's a difficult process but I'm a strong believer that what is meant to happen will. More on that later.

Restarting the blog is a goal of mine. I've set a goal of 3 postings a week. More will be a bonus for my adoring fans. ;-).

Until next time, I'll bid you adieu.